Surviving an abusive relationship requires commitment, patience, and fortitude. When you go through an abusive relationship it will try to alter your life forever. Even, long after you have forgiven the person that hurt you. You never, really quite forget. So you may even stay unavailable for long periods of time. First, you may not even realize that you are unavailable. But, once you figure out that you only date certain types of people— the ones that you know in your heart, will never really commit. Then you may begin to realize that you too are unavailable.
Because you also realize that this could go on forever you may decide to make a positive change for the better. So, you decide to put forth the effort to fully trust and love again. So, you begin to pray until your knees ache. You pray some more and although, you are still not in the process of loving and trusting again — because you are still single. You are willing to give love a try. You then meet someone amazing. The process begins and it will scare the hell out of you because you don’t ever want to feel the pain of heart break again. You try anyway because you realize it’s time to heal. Your heart is ready to make a go at it. Although, your mind will need more convincing.
You press on now because the person that you have met is everything that you have ever wanted in a mate. It’s a once in a life time kind of attraction and compatibility. You just feel it in your soul! You know that he or she is the “one” so you have decided to be in the process of learning, trusting and loving this amazing, new person.
Surviving An Abusive Relationship
You try to start out positive and you give that person trust, initially. Until they do something that resembles something that your ex once did to you — and so you may stumble. Then you may stumble again. You may even need to seek counseling for your trust issues. But you must do whatever it is you have to do to be healthy and whole enough to love the correct way.
Once you finally decide with your heart and your mind that you are going to trust this new person in your life — you begin. Well, guess what there will be opposition! Exes will appear out of the wood works trying to profess their love to you. People that you have crushed on that was really no good for you will all of a sudden call you and etc… The enemy doesn’t want any of GOD’s people to progress! You know why? Because a healthy and meaningful relationship will help you progress– because you won’t be alone anymore. GOD didn’t design “man” to live alone. He made a woman to be his help meet. The enemy understands that there is strength in numbers and therefore will always throw salt in the game to keep us divided!
Remember, that the bible reminds us,
Ephesians 6:12 New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
All of GOD’s people will face opposition and that is why we must stay prayed up and progressing to a better state of being. The enemy wants us all to live defeated and lonely lives. So, he will send opposition! He knows when you are finally, taking charge over your own life and your own happiness– so he will also send something or someone from your past to remind you of all the pain and turmoil that was done to you. He wants to place in your mind that it will only happen again and that you shouldn’t even try again. When this happens to you—you must denounce every evil thing or action that is trying to keep you bound to a life of hopelessness! You must fight for what is important to you and everything that you believe in! You must fight for your very own right to happiness! Claim it and receive GOD’s promises! Trust GOD first, trust yourself second and then begin the process of trusting your new mate.
Now, it doesn’t mean that they are going to be perfect and do everything the right way. But what it does mean is that your new relationship will not end all because you were still too scared to love and trust again.
So my words to you my dear brothers and sisters are, to love like you have never loved before because you deserve it! Remember that your new love interest deserves it too — True love is still out there. Regardless of the numbers. You can be in that small percentage of people to find and keep real love because what you are seeking is also seeking you. The catch is you will have to be mentally and spiritually healthy to recognize it. If you have the courage that I know you all have you will be able to trust and love again, correctly!
All love ❤️
Marion T. Wallace